There are many things you can't buy, like happiness, and love. Yet those are the things we want the most. People, in general, though, want many things. I know that I'm like that, I want things too. But of what I can't buy, I wish I had more time.
Everybody expects something different of me. Mostly, though, it's the fact they want me there with them. Between school, gymnastics and whatever else I'm doing, I have little time left over. That time though, seems to be portioned. "Shannon are you free today?" or "Shannon can you come over today?". I have a hard time saying no to people, so I get caught up in these plans. I try to get out of it, but people always persist. So I give in and make them happy.
I'm tired of this though. I can't make everybody happy at once. By being at one place, I'm making somebody else unhappy. By trying to spend some time doing nothing, I'm making somebody unhappy. For leaving the house without telling anyone, I'm making somebody unhappy. For having time to myself, I'm making somebody unhappy.
Is that really too much to ask, having free time? Too much time together sometimes kills everything. If people left me alone, maybe I'd be more willing to do more.
I don't feel like I said what I really wanted to say with this. I don't know how to put it to words. But if anybody understands, please tell me.
-Mirikitani
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I UNDERSTAND!!
ReplyDeleteEspecially now, in (stupidstupidstupid) high school, we have less time than ever, with more things to do than ever.
If I hung out with you every single time you nagged me, I would probably be a D student with no priorities, no hobbies, nothing to characterize my life except for "[insertnamehere]".
Just because we say no, DOES NOT mean we hate you!! You're really paranoid sometimes. (Well not YOU, but you. Like.... NEVERMIND. BLAHHH)
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ReplyDeleteI do have lots to say on this subject.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you don't always have to say yes, Shannon. If you're busy, we understand. And I really don't hang out with you a lot, or nag you about coming over. ( but I know that DD does... )
But when you have NOTHING to do, wouldn't you rather spend that time with friends? Laughing, and having fun? Don't live your life trying to please other people; live your life trying to make YOURSELF happy. Don't worry about the people you're making 'unhappy,' because unhappiness is only temporary.
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And Tina, I find your post slightly offensive. You NEVER hang out with us. Once or twice wouldn't kill your grade. I spend most of my life outside my house now, and I'm doing great in school with a B+ average. Why would hanging out with other people get rid of your hobbies? Am I a hobbiless person because I hang out with friends nonstop?
By spending time with my friends, the people who CARE about me, I'm able to find myself. Find what I like and what I don't. I can be an individual. I know you don't hate me, but do you even care about me anymore? School ISN'T life. Does your textbook care about you? No.
( I accidently posted this on DD's account...she doesn't log off of anything )